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This society that wants you to be a victim

9/14/2022

Published on September 14, 2022
Author : Shoshin

I am going to talk about this tendency of all those involved in society to maintain the victims in the state of eternal victims because for the ego of the people who help and who suddenly want to put themselves in our place there is no possibility of really getting out of this state, because they do not know what we have experienced and imagine that it is insurmountable, and well because they have this egocentric vision they transpose it to all the victims.

This hatred maintained by their so-called understanding even has for some, including me, the annoying habit of pushing us to create in our turn another form of victim of our hatred maintained by society and sometimes, as in my case, to push us to suicide because we cannot leave this hell where some want to lock us up at all costs for various reasons, sometimes even monetary and political.

Before the end of my former life, marked by an unsuccessful attempt at social and real suicide, I had consulted a certain number of therapists and therapies and I had done the rounds of the means at my disposal, very weak means indeed

My father destroyed me psychologically all my life, himself a child of destructive parents, a long line of untreated hatred, ignored mental problems and others to make a long story short.

I have been to individual therapists who spouted empty phrases to get me to work and think. Others suggested I get even, call the police, etc..... My father had gone far but I had contained him, no doubt he would have been a case for the asylum these days but I didn't really see him going to jail, anyway I made sure he wasn't a danger to others and with fronto-temporal dementia, what good would it have done him in the end.

What about me, anyway? Why wasn't my recovery from a victim to a normal human being at the heart of the matter?

Why were all these people literally obsessed with making me an eternal victim. They were cultivating and growing the flowers of total hatred. Their efforts were not helping me, on the contrary, these poorly calibrated efforts were causing me to have nightmares at night, relive horrible things and making me extremely disconnected from others around me, if not totally insensitive, hypnotized by my pain.

I hit rock bottom and exhausted all my resources, the state would not help me at all, they made applications for help disappear, I literally had to fight with them to beg for some help, as I was a contractor I had absolutely no financial support, left to my own devices so to speak.

Three things literally brought me back to life, I ended up in the psychiatric emergency room, I was diagnosed with post-traumatic shock, severe depression, chronic anxiety, ..., it would take too long to say everything.

I had something that I could finally identify, accept and use.

My wife had a counseling program at her company, which no longer exists, removed because of COVID.

Through this program, I met an eccentric and unusual psychologist. She didn't victimize me, she didn't give me stupid homework, she said that 95% of the patients do this homework hypocritically to please their caregiver, no she was frank, direct, listening and not closed to solutions that I found myself.

And I found Buddhism, a simple human, who unlike me had been raised in comfort and total denial of reality, had still given up everything to seek a life with more meaning, who accepted to be part of this world as a whole part of this universe and not as a victim of the sufferings related to this world.

Without going into details, this was life-saving for me. Buddhism alone would not have helped me, but the combination of Buddhism and the other solutions finally opened the door to something other than a life of victim and executioner.

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Log Cabin passion with mudflap

9/7/2022

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Published on September 7, 2022
Author : Nancy (Admin)
Diaspora* account of respondent : Search mudflap@diaspora.psyco.fr

Nancy : Where you get this passion for log cabin?

I was neck deep in "the rat race" back in 2001 - I was living in Utah, and drove 45 miles each way to work every day, along with a million other people. Traffic jams, accidents, construction, etc. I couldn't move any closer to my job because home prices were insane the closer you got to Salt Lake City. I realized my biggest financial obligation was my home, and thought, "what if I could eliminate that monthly payment?" I realized that doing so would also eliminate the need for such a high-paying job, the commute, and a host of other problems (car insurance, wasting 2 hours of my day stuck in traffic, gas, maintenance, etc.)

I started looking for a way out. About that same time, my wife (now ex) and I bought a small 600 sq ft cabin in Idaho on 20 acres. The guy we bought it from was a retired horse farrier from Colorado, and he built the place himself on a rock foundation, cemented together, when he was 70 years old. I realized building a home didn't have to be complicated, so I started researching construction methods - straw bale, adobe, earthbag, filled tires, glass bottles, underground homes, and log homes. My job forced me to take a 1 hour lunch break, so I spent a lot of time at the library (which was a block away from the office) researching construction methods. This was back when the internet was still somewhat sparse.

A lot of the problems with alternate building methods (straw bale / earthbag / etc.) are jumping through hoops to get the building permit. The other problem is if you ever want to sell it - not many people want a home made out of straw, even though they are extremely efficient. When I studied log homes, I was intrigued - if built right, they are very efficient, they always sell for at least 1/3 more than standard homes due to "the nostalgia" factor: people just like log homes.

I started looking into log home building methods - and it was depressing - there were so many ways to build - and all of them claimed to be the best - kits, custom, Swedish-cope, dovetail notched, etc - but all of them had glaring problems - the kits leaked air, and the dealers were dishonest, the cope method took 20 years of schooling to become proficient at making the special notches, and all of the methods had to be engineered because they would settle over time - you needed an engineer to tell you what kinds of loads to plan for and buy special screw jacks to lower your roof over time, special headers over the doors so the walls didn't crush the door jam as they settle - so complicated!

I finally stumbled onto LHBA (Log Home Builders Association) - Skip Ellsworth, the founder, had taken all the problems with log homes (settling, complicated notching, dishonest kit dealers) and solved every one of them with a method he called "the Skip Butt & Pass method" - no fancy notches, no screw jacks, can build with almost any kind of mostly straight tree - and most important: NO SETTLING. On top of all that, anyone could do it (they claimed), with no prior building experience, and for as little as $20k, you could have a nice home to live in. They claimed to be able to teach all of this to anyone in a 2 day class. I showed my wife, and she was like, "No way, you can't build a log home."

Fast forward 10 years - I got divorced, remarried, moved across the country, started a new career. My wife didn't really like log homes, but after looking for a home to buy for months and not finding anything she liked, she finally said, "maybe it's time to look into building that log home..."

So here we are - we designed it ourselves, cut every log, installed every shingle, window, made the doors, the fireplace - all of it, with no prior building experience. The only complaints I have with the LHBA method are :

* Not a lot of instruction on installing electrical
* Not a lot of instruction on installing plumbing

Most folks hire this stuff out anyway, but my goal was to do it 100% myself.

I wanted to answer the question: Can a normal person build a home, debt-free, without any prior experience, in the 21st century?

Links (if folks want to find out more)
https://www.lhba.com/

Best of mudflap's cabin build pics"
https://mudbox.freedombox.rocks/ikiwiki/NotesfromtheMudbox/posts/Best_of_cabin_pics/

Related Web Link

LHBA
Best of cabin pics

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This society that wants you to be a victim

Log Cabin passion with mudflap

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